Muse? Muse? Where are you Muse?

I’m stuck and feeling bored. I’m tired of revising my novel. I’m tired of not writing new words. I’m fed up and my muse has all but left me alone and desperate. I feel like a bad writer and I want to just give up. 

Luckily for me, I have amazing supporters. My mom and husband have both listened to me cry, bitch, and moan about this book for years. I love the main character, love the plot, the twists, and especially love the setting…but I’m starting to get anxiety when I come to the table to actually work.  Mom and Bradley have both told me the same thing, gently - Jennifer, take a break. Don’t throw it out, but push it aside for a bit.

I wanted to throw the thing away, but they were right, I just need a break. I need some time to have fun, rediscover my muse, rediscover my love of writing because lately it’s been felt like drudgery.  So….now comes the question: how to find my muse.

I’ve come up with 5 things I think I’ll try in the next few months:

1. Writing Exercises

I plan on using my tarot cards and some stuff I’ve found on the internet to help me come up with some different characters and plot lines for some short story ideas. I also want to use some pictures I’ve found on Pinterest to just write…for fun…for no other reason than to describe something, learn something, discover something.

2. Walking and Yoga

Now that the weather is feeling more like Spring, I want to get out and walk - we’ve lived in this part of Queens for almost five years and I still don’t know much about it. That’s sad. Also, my yoga practice is a great way for me to be quiet and listen to my body. Maybe my muse needs to be coaxed out a bit.

3. Other artsy stuff

I was a theatre major, but haven’t done much singing or acting in a long time on an actual stage but since finding the Hamilton soundtrack on Amazon prime music I’ve been listening and singing and acting out the show non-stop for days.  I feel more alive, more in touch with who I used to be. I also have some crafty type projects lined up - like finishing my son’s baby book (he’ll be 5 in September) and my wedding/honeymoon scrapbook (we have our 10 year anniversary coming up) to complete. 

4. Meditation

Like yoga, I’m hoping mindful breathing and visualization can help me chill out, become more mellow, and achieve a “go with the flow” type attitude about my novel and my writing career.

5. People

I think I also need to be around people more often. I work from home, just me and my computer all day long. I have a new day job, but it’s all online, virtual assistant…but that doesn’t mean I have to stay home. I can head out to Starbuck’s or St. Louis Bread Company (okay, here it’s called Panera’s…but I’m a St. Louis girl at heart still), ordering a latte and a muffin and write or work right? I’ve never tried this so it makes me nervous, but I think just being around other people, looking at them also working and eating might help me.

So…what else should I try? What do you guys do when you start feeling this way? Or….please don’t let this be true….am I the only one who gets this way sometimes? 

Captain Tight Pants

So, I’ve somewhat left childish things behind me (except, you know Disney) but not crushes. Cute boys grow up to be handsome men - ruggedly handsome, that is. Growing up, I crushed on Joey Lawrence - had pictures of him on my binders and watched his shows, listened to his music - all the things you do when crushing on a celebrity.

Things haven’t changed that much. My current celebrity crush is Nathan Fillion.

Yes, I’m happily married….trust me, my hubby is aware of said crush…and encourages it…well, maybe not encourages it but he likes the man too and we watch Firefly and Castle together…so you know, he’s a keeper. :-)

I watch the shows and movies (not all of them - I haven’t seen Slither) and listen to the music. What? He sings….check out Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-long Blog by the one and only Joss Whedon. I’ve watched him in Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place. I’ve watched him in Buffy the Vampire Slayer (that one’s hard though - he plays such an evil bastard). I’ve watched Firefly and Serenity. I’ve watched Waitress. I’ve watched Monster’s University (he does a voice) and I’ve watched Guardians of the Galaxy and tried to find him (he plays a big blue galoot in the jail who gets taken down by Groot). 

Oh….and I have him my Filofax.

Yup. I found that picture online and thought it was perfect. Printed it out and plopped it into my binder. I told you, things haven’t changed much. I also have a picture of David Tennant as Doctor Who telling me to write too.  He’s on the top 5 list too. You know, from Friends…the top 5 celebrities you’re allowed to have sex with.  Nathan Fillion, David Tennant, Matthew Perry, Joey Lawrence, and Paul Rudd. Unlike Ross, I don’t have my list printed and laminated though.

My childhood celebrity crush post was a bit embarrassing, so….here goes my huge secret….I follow Nathan on Instagram/Facebook and check his status every few days to see if he’s posted anything cool. I like things, but never comment…because if we ever actually meet in real life, I don’t want to be one of those people. HA  That’s pretty sad right?

Okay…fess up, who are you currently crushing on? Do you obsessively watch their shows and movies? Check fan sites? Write fan fiction? Give it to me….can’t be any more embarrassing than what I’ve shared.