My way or the highway?

 

I realized something the other day, and it's making me sit with some very uncomfortable feelings.

Back in college, teachers told me that I needed to lose some weight to make it as an actor, and instead of following that advice I did the exact opposite - I thought, "I'll show them! I'll do what I want and make it on my own!"  But I didn't, I moved to NYC and auditioned and had casting directors, coaches, and teachers tell me I needed to lose a little weight to make it as an actor.  Again...I didn't listen, I got mad, thought I can do this on my own and a few years later I quit.

And I'm doing something similar now with my writing career - marketing in particular - because I keep hearing from people that I need to put more effort into my social media, post more with more intention, do the TikTok videos, network with people, put yourself out there more - and instead of following that advice, I've been thinking - well, I'll show them! I'll do what I want and make it on my own, doing it my way! Yikes!

The thing is, I've been wanting to get back to short form videos (TikTok, Reels, etc) but when someone tells me that's what I should be doing, I think - says who?!? - no thanks, not any more.  And I realized this becasue my son is the exact same way and it's been frustrating me for awhile...and now I know why, we are very very similar (maybe too much) and it's putting up a mirror to all the things I've done "my way" that didn't work and instead of changing course, I held my ground, dug my heels in and failed. 

I want to talk about me and my books and my writing career and author journey. I like being on video (theatre major, remember?!?!) but I've been resisting starting again because of the prevailing advice telling me I should. UGH! I want to have fun and do things my way and I can, but I also need to start and just do the damn thing. 

Have you ever had someone else's behavior show you how you've been? Was that a positive or negative thing for you? Let me know in the comments below.